Dinner Party
by SPS-kun
Summary: Behind every genocidal maniac is...his mother. Join Sensui and Itsuki as they venture to Sensui's house for dinner, to watch the infamous 'soap opera', and to face the woman Shinobu got his insanity from...SxI, OC


**Dinner Party**

A Yuu Yuu Hakusho fanfiction by Sir Psycho Sexy

A/N: This is my first time writing an OC for the YYH fandom. It resulted from watching Sensui's emotions and personalities, and wondering what the hell kind of mother could raise a woman-hating genocidal maniac. (I'm obsessed with Sensui, excuse.) And so, without further adieu, I write…Sensui Samuko. AND the little matter of a certain yôkai her son has slept with (but she doesn't know that, and THE GODS FORBID she finds out) and is making good on his promise to watch their favorite soap opera at their house…

Also, I think that his mother would have to know about his career, since Shinobu was born with his powers and didn't acquire them like Yûsuke did. And about her name- I wanted to parallel Atsuko, so I gave Sensui's mother the opposite name. (atsui hot; samui cold)

I really hope she's not a Mary Sue. If you see anyplace she needs improvement, give me a holler. –SPS

---

Six PM.

Sensui Samuko was struggling to get dinner on the table for she and her son, since she just had to make sure that there were exactly seven lamps on in the totality of her house (and she had spent three hours checking), and she knew Shinobu would be home from work any minute.

A knock at the door. Samuko stacked the sushi platters awkwardly on the table, cursing herself (well, not cursing, she was afraid she would be sent to the lowest level of Hell for that, even if her son DID work for Enma-ô) for not being feminine enough to place the platters in perfect order on aforementioned table, even when she was in a rush.

She adjusted her posture, fixing her apron and preparing her voice to sound sweet and caring like a Japanese housewife's voice should sound when answering the door, especially towards a work-weary, possibly grouchy male one is related to. "Come in…"

"Mother, I'm home." Her son looked at her for an instant, in a mixture of love and disgust.

"Shinobu, dear, did you kill anything today?" Her usual question, asked day in and day out when Shinobu returned from his tantei duties.

Shinobu hung his head.

"Well, did you?' Her voice became slightly more irritated. "I thought my son would be more important than that, to let the whole of humanity become yôkai food. But, nooo…I have a failure for a son where I'm supposed to have a deity incarn-"

"Yes, Mother, I did. It would never cross my mind not to protect the innocent," he interrupted. Samuko breathed a sigh of relief; her son wasn't a failure, so neither was she. "Oh, and Mother, I brought a…friend…home for dinner. Do you mind?"

Samuko thought for a minute; she was not used to company for either her or Shinobu, since the both of them tended to be looked at as "weird" by the rest of society. "Of course, dear."

A youth who appeared to be in his twenties, with turquoise hair and golden eyes, approached the doorway. "Mother, this is Itsuki."

Itsuki bowed deeply. "I'm very pleased to meet you."

After having a good look at his odd coloring, Samuko backed away as if Itsuki smelled of skunk. "Shinobu….you…you can't!! I told you once, I told you a thousand times! There will not be any foreigners in my house! It's a good, clean, JAPANESE abode, and I'll be darned if I let any foreign devils"-she pointed at the yôkai- "infest this sanctuary with their filthy germs!" Placing her hand upon her son's forehead, she admonished, "You'd better not have a fever, young man…else I'm going to have to get out the AK-47 in the futon closet!"

Knowing full well that there was no AK-47 or any ammunition of any sort in the futon closet, or, for that matter, anywhere in the house, and that his mother had recently developed a gun fixation because she swore she heard something on the TV about the government spying on private citizens so that they could feed secret information on the Japanese way of life to the United States, he nodded his head in the affirmative.

She whispered to him. "Good boy. Now can you help me disinfect the house? The foreigner's making it filthy." With this she shuddered.

Shinobu whispered back: "Mother, Itsuki isn't a foreigner!"

"Explain his hair color and his eye color then. I haven't seen a Japanese with that coloring EVER!" She snorted and folded her arms.

"Mother, he works for Koenma…" Shinobu told a fib, hoping that it _would_ come true, that Itsuki _would_ get parole, and that he'd work alongside him as his partner.

"Why, Shinobu, dear, why didn't you say so? Any friend of Koenma-sama's is a friend of mine!" She raced up towards Itsuki and hugged him, chanting full of religious fervor, as she usually did upon meeting a Reikai Tantei (since she thought they were all in the same situation as her son): "_Namu__ amida butsu, namu amida butsu_…"1

Itsuki looked down at the mantra-chanting human female, and said, "You are indeed very interesting, Sensui-san. I had no idea people clung to religion like you do…"

She looked up at him. "Whatever do you mean?" Deciding that Ms. Sensui wouldn't understand what he was saying without exposing his true yôkai self, he gently pried her off of his person and walked towards Shinobu.

"Oh!" Samuko's mood suddenly brightened as she had a chance to prove her femininity and good housewife skills to the visiting male. "Would you boys like some dinner?"

"Of course, Mother." Shinobu sat at the table, and Itsuki followed. Samuko hurriedly formed the platters she had haphazardly set down before into an elegant pattern the approximate shape of a daffodil's 2 head.

Samuko sat down to something screaming in the back of her mind.

_He's really a foreigner. He's corrupting your perfect god of a son, leading him astray from the path of righteousness._

They all bowed and said, "_Ikadakimasu_" 3 before everyone started eating.

---

"_Gochisôsama__ deshita_." 4

The three of them got up from the table, and Samuko decided to get her mop out to clean after their guest, just in case he WAS a foreigner and Koenma made the grave mistake (in her mind) of hiring enlightened beings from outside Japan as Tantei. Didn't he know that they were filthy, uncultured barbarians? Didn't he know that they were tempting innocent Japanese with their absolute lack of morality disguised as "a more modern way of thinking"?

And there was her son, sitting on the couch watching the TV with one! How dare he…!

_Calm down, Samuko_, she told herself_. Shinobu has a much better sense of morality than you do. After all, he is the man of the house, and extremely close to becoming a god._

But then, as the soap opera Itsuki had requested to watch came to a close, he seemed to snuggle in closer to her son…and…and he gave him a kiss…on the lips….

Samuko thwacked the mop down against the floor and stared accusingly at Itsuki. "YOU! Foreign devil teaching my son such…such…PERVERSIONS! 5 GET OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I KILL YOU, DARN IT!"

"But Mother…" Shinobu tried to plead, but one could not plead with an angry Sensui Samuko.

"No buts, young man, you send him home." She shuddered as that kiss replayed in her mind. She had wanted a daughter-in-law she could teach how to cook and clean and kiss up to men to make them feel special, and whom she could live vicariously through, but Fate did not look too kindly upon what SHE wanted…

Itsuki, sensing that this human woman was indeed interesting to play with, put his hand up Shinobu's shirt and grinned wickedly.

Samuko, after many confused verbal tirades with herself about the subject at hand, and whether or not the government was secretly launching a counter-attack of mass perversion against Reikai, fainted and fell on the floor.

Shinobu said, "At least we saw the final episode of that soap opera." He grunted. "Mother is such a pain. She is an emotional fool like every female I have ever met. Itsuki…keep me away from women, OK?"

Itsuki nodded and escorted his lover out of the house and back to Reikai.

-FIN

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

1 This is a mantra used in Pure Land Buddhism. It invokes the name of the Amidha Buddha, the Buddha of Pure Light.

2 "Sensui" is _suisen_, the Japanese word for daffodil, with the kanji in reverse.

3 A standard, untranslatable phrase said before eating.

4A standard, untranslatable phrase said after eating.

5 Like most Japanese, Samuko is being hypocritical in this regard. Male homosexuality before the Meiji Revolution, although it is quite well-documented, is usually denied, since it is believed that foreigners are responsible for bringing same-sex love to Japan. (In other words, Japanese are homophobic because of their rejection of anything that is 'outside' normal Japanese culture.)


End file.
